Disclosing That You Have a Mental Illness, part III: Friends and Family

friends
Credit to flickr.com user Oliver DelaCruz. Used with permission under a Creative Commons license.

[ Part I | Part II | Part III | Part IV ]

You know when and how to disclose your mental illness. But should you? We cover whether you should disclose to friends and family.

Pros and Cons

When you think about whether to tell people, think about what the consequences will be if you don’t tell them as well as if you do. Thinking this through can help you decide if you truly want to disclose your mental illness.

Disclosing To Your Loved Ones

Before you disclose your mental illness to your family and friends, there are several factors to consider. First of all: do you think your listener will understand? Will they be able to support you in the ways you need supported, such as advice, help with doctors or avoiding drinking, or emotional support? Not everyone is skilled at being emotionally available. Make a list of the people around you who have this skillset.

There are three possible outcomes to telling a loved one about your illness:

  1. He or she is completely comfortable with your disclosure, and nothing changes.
  2. He or she is incredibly uncomfortable, and takes steps to end the relationship with you.
  3. He or she says that he or she is comfortable with you telling them this, and proceeds to fade slowly from your life.

Obviously the first outcome is the best and most hoped for. While ending relationships are a concern, it’s entirely possible that he or she wouldn’t have been able to support you anyway, so it’s probably best that he or she disappears from your life.

Telling a loved one about your mental illness takes a lot of courage. Consult your list of people who can give you emotional support to decide whether it’s worth the risk to tell them.

Tune in next week for part four in this series: “Disclosing That You Have a Mental Illness, part 4: Your Employer.”

Author: Cassandra Stout

Freelance writer Cassandra Stout blogs weekly at the award-winning Bipolar Parent, a comprehensive resource for parents with mental illnesses. She also blogs monthly at the International Bipolar Foundation website (IPBF.org). Her work has been published in the anthology, How the Light Gets In. Cassandra holds degrees from the University of Arizona in Creative Writing and Journalism. She has been a judge for the Pacific Northwest Writers' Association literary contest for nine years, where her memoir, Committed, recently placed as a finalist. She balances her literary work with raising her children, feeding her cat, and managing her bipolar disorder.